After our first emotional moment as a family of three, I was able to feed Mia a bottle and snuggle her a bit longer. Russell also got a turn at skin to skin and I could tell he was a little nervous but so in love with her! Mia was weighed and measured in front of the both of us and we were also able to be there when she got some shots. That cry broke our hearts! After she was all done, she was wrapped up again and placed into her birth mom's arms and they were able to have some time together before being moved to our separate rooms.
Russell and I walked out of the room and sat down in a waiting area and I remember vividly how we just sat there quietly staring at the wall and holding hands. We just couldn't believe what we had just experienced and it was just so so surreal! We were parents! But were we?! Reality and excitement settled in again as we read texts and messages from family and close friends who we shared some photos with. I remember our thumbs moving so fast to share her name and all of her birth information! But I also remember a feeling of nervousness for we knew that there would be tears and hard things to come.
They assigned us to our rooms; Mia's birth mom had hers and the hospital was so accommodating and also had a room for us. Our room was towards the back and her birth mom's room was closer to the nursery. The four of us (birth mom, Mia, Russell, and I) were able to go into the nursery together and watch Mia get her feet stamped and get her first bath. It was around 3 in the morning and we were all so tired (especially birth mom!) but we all couldn't take our eyes off from Mia!
We all decided that Mia's birth mom should get a good night's rest that first night we were all at the hospital together so Russell and I rolled Mia into our room at around 3:30 in the morning. I remember this night like it was just yesterday! I remember taking her out of her bassinet feeling so unprepared! I sat with her in the rocking chair while Russell got cleaned up from a whirlwind of a night. I rocked and sang to her and kissed her over and over again. I prepared for a long night of crying and feeding but Mia was out like a light! We placed her back into her bassinet and placed it as close as possible to the bed. The hospital bed was too small to share so Russell took the hospital bed and I had the pull out bed. We didn't get that much sleep that night since we were constantly waiting for her to wake up and need us but she never did!
At around 6:30 in the morning, a nurse came into our room and seemed to be super surprised that we were still laying in our beds and that Mia was still asleep! We felt like she was sort of disappointed in us for not waking Mia to feed but we were told to never wake a sleeping baby! She told us to wake Mia up and feed her a bottle so we tried and tried, but Mia did not want to wake up! The nurse had to show us ways to "startle" wake her so that she would have some milk! Poor girl was just so tired from the night before!
A little later, Mia's birth mom came to get Mia and wheeled her away to her room to have some time with her. Russell and I left the hospital for some breakfast and to give them the time they needed. It was so nice to have some family in town so that they could help us pass the time that we weren't with Mia. We would stop by birth mom's room every now and then to say hello and hang out but we tried our best to give her the time and space she needed. That Saturday was Birth Mother's Day so we spent some time with her talking about the night before and gave her the gifts we had picked for her. It was also so refreshing to be with birth mom and her family. It just felt so comfortable and like they were a part of our family too. Mia also stayed in her birth mom's room that night and Russell and I tried our best to get a good night's rest but we were super anxious about the day ahead of us that we didn't sleep much.
The next morning was Mother's Day and the day Mia's birth mom was going to sign the relinquishment paperwork. Russell and I woke up super exhausted but so eager to see Mia and finally have our family meet her. We went to visit Mia, her birth mom, and her family in the morning and we were able to partake the sacrament together in birth mom's room. That was one of the most spiritual moments of my life. As we sat quietly in her room, listening to the bread and water being blessed, I felt a rush of peace come over me. I felt His love for Mia's birth mom, Mia, and for us. I remember sitting there trying to hide the tears and hoping that Mia's birth mom was feeling it too. I sensed my Savior, Jesus Christ near and I thought of the selfless young woman who was about to make the largest sacrifice of her life in order to bless Russell and I. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I admired her and how Christlike she was to me! After we had the sacrament, we talked about the plan for the remainder of the afternoon and were able to hang out with Mia and her for a bit longer before returning to our room to wait until it was time to see Mia again as our daughter and take her home from the hospital.
Around lunch time, the social worker and notary came to our room and had us sign some paperwork before going to birth mom's room. They explained to us what she was about to sign and told us the time frame of when it would be done and left our room. We spent the next couple of hours pacing back and forth in our room, looking at the clock a few dozen times, praying for us and for birth mom numerous times, packing our bags and repacking it, walking down the hall to get more and more Coke, trying to watch TV and I can't even remember what else. We didn't even think to take a picture as we waited in our room. That day was such a blur to me. We always felt confident and weren't super scared that she would change her mind, but we did occasionally allow doubt to creep into our minds. But above all, we were just so worried about Mia's birth mom and we wanted her to be OK.
After what felt like a really long time to us, we asked our family members to come up to meet birth mom's family in a lobby area as we waited for Mia's birth mom to say good bye to Mia alone in her room. When she was close to being ready, we were asked to get back to our room with our families. Then with a light knock at the door, Mia's birth mom walked into our room wheeling Mia and her family were close behind her. Immediately, emotions hit all of us in the room. I remember just beginning to sob because I was so happy but so sad at the same time. She had Mia dressed in a onesie that said, "Best gift ever." And she truly was! She also gave us a letter she had written for Mia to read when she is older and a lotus bracelet that matches hers. We all said our good byes and hugged as tightly as we could, hoping it would tell her how thankful we were for Mia and for her! She left with her family and again, we all began to sob. It was such an emotional day and one we will never ever forget!
Looking back, that weekend was super emotional but also super special. I feel like Mia was a week late so that she could gift her birth mom and I the experience of sharing Birth Mother's Day and Mother's Day with one another in the hospital.
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